I’ve found the last couple of days emotionally challenging. I don’t know if there’s anyone else out there who is struggling with others trying to control them. If so, I send you prayers of liberation. This is the one thing that I’m still feeling affected by, and it seems amplified now. I’m so ready to reclaim my freedom and boundaries. So, with today being the first day of the waxing moon, and it being about what we can add to your lives, I’m taking a stand and erecting clear boundaries. Easy to say, but I’m pretty sure it will be an ongoing process.
Due to being a sensitive soul sitting somewhere on the empath spectrum, being way too passive I’m discovering, and having refused to take self-responsibility in a lot of ways, I find myself in this seemingly helpless position. It brings up feelings of intense rage, and in the future this is something I’m going to have to find a healthy way to release. But, for now, I am simply not going to play the games of the narcissist and control freak. Been there, done that. I just downloaded to my Kindle ‘The Frame: Define Your Boundaries, Reinstate Your Sovereignty, Reclaim your, Claim Your Divine Purpose’ by DanMichael Batista and look forward with anticipation to finding time to read it this week.
I used to have amazing boundaries, but being in an emotionally abusive relationship for over ten years and a massage therapist for twenty, they were chipped away at little by little over time. There is nothing more angering than someone believing they have a right to rule over someone else. But, apparently there is this whole empath/narcissist dynamic that exists. I’ve been getting signs and messages of this for a long time now. YouTube must have an inside scoop of my life based on the videos that show up in my feed. I’ve been wondering why I keep seeing video after video about narcissists and empaths. They tend to annoy me, and I generally ignore them. But, it all makes sense now. My eyes needed to be opened to the reality of things. Now that I’m seeing more clearly, I’m ready to do something about it.
More than ever, I feel the need to create a sacred space not only in my van, since I’m traveling, but also a sacred place within me that no one can get to. Creating a daily self-care regimen is called for. There comes a point when we no longer have the luxury of postponing it. The better we take care of ourselves the more autonomy we have. The more responsibility we take for ourselves, the less likely we will be food for prey. Add to that saying ‘no’ and standing firm in our truths and we have at least some of the essential ingredients for setting the essential boundaries for ourselves that we may have been sorely lacking for way too long. We also can’t forget about shadow work for looking into how and why we have adapted the behaviors and mindset that attract controlling people and people that thrive by pushing our buttons.
I look forward to putting these into practice as well as seeing what the professionals have to say. And, maybe I’ll tune into those narcissist videos after all!